August 5, 2015

ONE year ago today...

I was sitting in a hospital bed having an anxiety attacking awaiting my first surgery ever, a surgery I never wanted or thought I would need especially at the age of 27. But I had to have a hysterectomy because of a birth control called Essure AKA E-Hell that caused me hell for the 2 1/2 years that it was in side me. 2 doctors later I finally found the 3rd and final, out of this world amazing doctor who believed me from the day that I walked in that I wasn't lying about anything I said or like some doctors liked to say to me your a drug addict go home ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

That is what I got for 2 1/2 years no one cared how I felt because they thought I was making everything up because on the outside I looked fine but they can't see how I felt on the inside. I felt like I was dying everyday I could barely do anything I didn't have a life and I wasn't a good mom to my children to this day makes me cry every time I think about it. But everyone said oh your done having children get this instead of your tubes tide its easy its fast and it works...I say bullshit to all three of those lines.

It wasn't easy I went in 6 weeks after I had Trent I had an allergic reaction to the toradol that they gave me and instead of stopping he just put me to sleep (it was in the office, not hospital). I woke up in pain and lived that way for 2 1/2 years, it was just symptom after symptom with it I felt like the metal in me was literally killing me alive, and the one thing they forget to mention to women before placing them is that they're made of fucking nickle. How many people are allergic to that shit? Yeah that's what I thought!

I thought that I would have to live this way for the rest of my life and it just broke my heart every day. I went back to school three THREE days after I had Trent and I never could go back after I got essure placed. That's how fucked up it is, there are now over 17 thousand women who have had to get hysterectomy because of it, and yes I know there are women who love it but don't come and tell me that bullshit that "oh i'm fine on it" because i'm going to tell you to fuck off because guess what I wasn't fine on it.

I'll never forget what it has done to my life how it destroyed almost THREE years of my life I could be a Nurse right now I could be doing everything I wanted to do in life, But no Bayer thinks were all delusion and in some other dimension and i'm so tired of them thinking that way. I refuse to have anything Bayer in my home just reminds me of terrible times in my life and i'm over it, you're not controlling my life anymore.

I sit here one year later and just I don't even know how I feel, like i'm happy they're out of course I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I went through. It's just a sad feeling that's i'm still in physical therapy for my muscles that always tried to protect my fallopian tubes that's they literally stopped working. I was diagnosed with pelvic congestion when i was in surgery and then I got diagnosed with Interstitial cystitis so yeah life must go on and it is going on. I truly feel hopefully for the first time in a long time and it makes me happy i'm going to be starting school again to finish my career and do all the other stuff I talked about in my last post.

From this point on after this post i'm only posting the good in my life, I have to move on from what E-Hell did to me and i'm doing that starting on one year down from living toxic free.

It's freeing just saying that and seeing me type the words 

So I say One year later I still have some things to work on my body from what e-hell did to me but my attitude towards life is so much better i'll never be the way I was to my children ever again because I was in pain I would yell and that is never okay. I haven't yelled since then, even when I felt like my organs were going to fall out of me after surgery, life is WAY to short to feel like that and those three years i'm trying to take back and make up for everything I lost because of a product that should have never been on the market in the first place.

One last thing.....

Bayer you suck!


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